(Neither) Raw (Nor) Natural Beauty Ad Dispenses Vital Life Lesson

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We were lurking through various social networks when we saw a brush flutter invitingly over the ad at left. "Ooh, will we get to play with make-up?" we thought, because you're never too old to Crayola the crap out of a perfectly good face.

But after several attempts to engage the ad we realized the animation existed solely to distract us, not encourage our creativity.

Bummer. Then we thought, "Hey, clever. 'Better than bare.'" Bare Escentuals is the big contender in the mineral-based make-up market. So the ad at left (for Raw Natural Beauty, whatever that is) effectively does three things:

- Draws (our) eyes to it
- Takes a subtle jab at a big-ass competitor
- Reminds women everywhere that leaving home without make-up will incite head-turns of quiet disdain from everyone within a thirty-foot radius

Thanks a bunch, Raw Natural Beauty.

by Angela Natividad    Feb- 1-08    
Topic: Bad, Online



Gatorade Wastes Derek Jeter on G2

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Courtesy of MediaPost's Out to Launch, we have one of the two ads Gatorade will run for its G2 low calorie drink. One ad will feature Dwyane Wade and one will feature Derek Jeter. The Derek Jeter ad has Jeter walking through the streets of New York while elements of a baseball field follow him and fill in the landscape behind him. There's some nice special effects in this ad but aside from that, there is absolutely nothing special about this ad. It's run-of-the-mill celebu-sport figure 101. Not quite lame but close.

by Steve Hall    Jan-31-08    
Topic: Bad, Commercials, Creative Commentary, Super Bowl 2008



Draft/FCB's Taco Bell Fiesta Platter Super Bowl Spot Full of Cheese

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We have to agree with George Parker. This Draft/FCB-created Super Bowl commercial for Taco Bell introducing its new Fiesta Platters dish is, well, shall we say, not so good. It's cheesy and not in that good cheesy food way but in that over reaching, we will make this funny no matter what sort of way. Nada. It ain't happening.

by Steve Hall    Jan-30-08    
Topic: Bad, Commercials, Super Bowl 2008



Subway Files Lawsuit Because Some Soapbox Racers Threw Sandwiches At Each Other

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According to The New York Times, Subway is inexplicably (as in pending lawsuit) pissed at Quiznos because of some "derogatory" user-generated videos that depict Subway unfavorably. Must see to believe (scroll down to view the big offender).

Some actual Quiznos ads, depicting people on the street choosing between the two brands, also made it into the lawsuit, but the big stars are the UGC entries from some contest Quiznos ran. Subway is also suing iFilm for running the contest.

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by Angela Natividad    Jan-29-08    
Topic: Bad, Brands, Consumer Created, Online, Video



'Wall Street Journal' to Cover...Sports?

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What the hell is going on with the Wall Street Journal? Pity the poor media planner who once was able to make a media buy that pretty much insured they'd reach some financially savvy folks who were reading the Journal for its razor-focused coverage of financial matter. But, then came the Weekend edition with its fluffy entertainment news. And then there was the Personal Journal which covered...who knows...fixing your kitchen sink? Now, thanks to Rupert Murdoch, the paper is getting a sports section.

WTF? The Wall Street Journal writing about sports? WTF? Sure the paper's readers interests beyond financial but how much blandification can a media property take on before it becomes just another daily newspaper that's so broad it appeals to no one and suffers dramatic circulation declines like every other paper in the nation? It makes no sense. But, hey, we're not Rupert Murdoch so we could be wrong.

by Steve Hall    Jan-29-08    
Topic: Bad, Newspaper, Opinion, Strange



Dell and Microsoft Join Forces, Go (Red) -- but Why?

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We hate the (Red) campaign.

But it doesn't matter what we think, because it marches on for reasons beyond the realms of human understanding. You really can get people to buy crap products if you promise X percent of $X will "support four months" of antiretroviral medication to an unspecified number of AIDS patients somewhere in Africa.

Who? Where? What is antiretroviral medication?

Is Bono really this powerful?

by Angela Natividad    Jan-24-08    
Topic: Bad, Cause, Packaging



WoW Cheat Promotes Wares Alongside Adrants Video Posting

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If you play games like WoW or Everquest, then you know there are items you can buy to increase your strength and just generally help you kick ass across the board. Some acquire them fairly, others don't, and still others pay ex-sweatshop workers to play in their place all night long.

In other words, there's a huge market for people willing to part with cash for a little bit of gaming immortality. (Why this is, we're sure we have no fucking idea.)

Alongside our posting about this WoW beer video, our ePage buddy Brad saw this saucy (and grammatically crappy) banner for World of Warcraft gold and power leveling, brought to you by "The fun place for your power."

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by Angela Natividad    Jan-23-08    
Topic: Bad, Games, Online, Strange



Online Degree Program Puts Graduates On Plastic Expressway

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We can't describe how heartily we dig that the Nextag online degree program makes career options look like our Barbie closet. Dress up like a nurse, a cop or "something else" -- a category for which our imagination holds no bounds (trailer trash and naughty maid, to name a couple).

And you gotta love how the NexTag logo parks "Comparison Shopping" right next to "Degrees." It really all comes down to the same thing, doesn't it?

by Angela Natividad    Jan-22-08    
Topic: Bad, Online



Berlitz Enlarges More Than Just Language Skills

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Oh ha, ha, ha. We get it. How could we not? Why don't you just get a toilet plunger and shove your witty little double entendre down our throat to make sure we really, really understood the oh-so-witty joke you were trying to make. Come on. Our mouth is wide open and ready to receive your sorry ass creativity.

Oh, sorry, you want to know what we're talking about? But, come on, we always have so much fun when we switch into trash mode. Can't we go on just a little bit longer? OK, OK, we'll tell you. The creator of this commercial for language learner Berlitz thought some sledge hammer-style visual paronomasia (look it up) would be the best way to show people how Berlitz can make a huge (did we say huge?) change in your foreign language speaking skills. We humbly submit that we get your point, Berlitz.

by Steve Hall    Jan-22-08    
Topic: Bad, Commercials, Racy



Teacher Suspended After Students See Her in Racy Ad

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How many times have you done something you've regretted? Perhaps more that a few if you're the average human being. Thankfully though, for most, these regrets don't end up on YouTube for all to see...including your employer. This isn't the first time this sort of thing has happened but British private school teacher Sarah Green has found herself suspended from her job after her students unearthed a video she did for Scruffs Hardware construction clothing two years before taking her current teaching position.

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by Steve Hall    Jan-17-08    
Topic: Bad, Commercials, Opinion