Not that anyone cares about the latest and greatest plastic wrap - except, of course for freakish fetishists - but an attendee at a recent focus group at which product names were explored for a new Ziploc product leaked a few of the considered names to Copyranter. As usual, they are all meaningless using stupid additive names like Duron, Fortex, DuraMax, Freshlastic, Durapreme, Reliashield which convey absolutely nothing about the product which is, supposedly, just a better, more sticky plastic wrap.
Oh, ick. Adfreak points us over to this ad for the River City Bagel and Bakery in Boise, Idaho. Apparently they wanted to get a little clever and tie their product to the Vagina Monologues, which is playing in the area.
We're not prudes about anatomy but the thought of quim over our next lox shmear brings us close to queasy.
Oops. That feel good Red campaign isn't working out after all. It seems it took up to an estimated $100 million to bring in $18 million for the charity effort. Not exactly the best ROI for a campaign of any kind. Groups such as Buy Less Crap which we wrote about here have derided the campaign claiming it's stupid to make people spend money to buy stuff when they could just give directly to charity far more efficiently. It's true. While many businesses may need a middle man to function properly, charity is most certainly not one of them.
The star studded campaign which was fronted by Steven Spielberg, Bono, Christy Turlingon, Chris Rock, Oprah Winfrey and others seems to have been a flop. Global Fund Private Sector Head Rajesh Anandan defended the campaign telling Advertising Age, "Red has done as much as we could have hoped for in the short time it has been up and running. The launch cost of this kind of campaign is going to be hugely front loaded. It's a very costly exercise."
Feel like showcasing your marketing savvy with a public guerilla campaign? Post-Boston, be careful - The People are sensitive of late.
At least that's what Microsoft's discovering with its recent ground-floor attempt to push the Zune.
A blast of music from the tricked-out Zune-mobile sparked sleep-deprived residents in Lower East Side Manhattan, not to drop their iPods, but to seek restitution on a scathing site called Wake Up Microsoft.
To start with, they sarcastically thank the big blue company for their "noise terrorism." Noise terrorism? Is that anything like Lite-Brite terrorism? While Microsoft deserves a wrist-slap for thinking they could start a spontaneous block party, this certainly isn't the only shockwave of moody distaste they've inadvertently triggered lately.
Update: Cliczune's post on the Zune SUV includes the comment of at least one user who wouldn't mind being jarred out of sleep at 3 AM by the system's impressive clarity.
Now if ad*itive and Reebok had chosen, oh, say, Britney Spears or Lindsay Lohan instead of Scarlett Johansson for the company's new Scarlett Hearts apparel and footwear campaign which carries the headline, "I Am More Than A Cover Story," the ad might have carried more weight. While Scarlett is certainly cover story material, it's not like she captures the mind of America like some of the more famous starlets we have.
She's much better suited to the new Disney World campaign that just broke in GQ and other mags in which she appears as Cinderella along with Beyonce Knwles as Alice, Lyle Lovett as the March Hare, Oliver Platt as the Mad Hatter and David Beckham as Prince Philip.
In the pantheon of unintended hilarious road signage comes this image from Adrants reader Andy Malis who passed by a Maryland Friendly's on his way to work and simply had to turn around and capture the image for us. Family friendly Friendly's is now providing its patrons free sexual satisfaction as long as they buy five new sandwiches. We think this sign will be coming down soon.
Sinless, who by now we suspect spends an unusual amount of time trolling The Fame Game, shares a very white rendition of 50 Cent's In Da Club. Bad rapping and emo glasses aside, we couldn't stop staring at the tassle swinging helplessly from one side of the headliner's hoodie. We are easily mesmerized by little details like that.
"White men can't rap..." our Fame Game-loving friend observes almost wistfully, and even if that's so, they can sure trumpet and clap hands in a cramped space quite decently. When we do our song-and-dance, we normally need a wide berth.
We thought the Microsoft Butterfly was kind of nifty. The guy in the BlackBerry suit? Not so much. Giant plush costumes are so deceptive in their frozen state of cheer and rarely work outside Chuck E Cheese and college football fields, where they can be ridiculed at leisure by their own peers.
The requisite BlackBerry Mascot MySpace, as if we care.
Why? Why? Why? Why do brands launch these massive campaigns, spend all this money and make ads that don't say a thing about what the company does? Are there people in agencies that still think "branding" without meaningful substance works? Apparently, not after one of those day-long, mind-numbing vision, mission, essence, position self-serving mind fucks. After that, they're all sipping the Kool Aid without realizing the consumer wasn't in that meeting all day and has no idea what the hell the resulting brand messaging is trying to convey.
Sure, this Mobius award winning Bart Domination campaign for Kaiser Permanente will certainly force the company's name into the conscious and subconscious mind of everyone within eye sight but will they walk away having any idea what the company does? Oh wait. Yea. There's this thing called the Internet. Oh wait. There's no URL in the ad. Oh wait. There's this thing called Google. It helps you find stuff. Oh wait, Kaiser's name is impossible to spell. Even if one does find their way to the site, it doesn't even tell you what the company does. Not until you click in several levels or visit the far more helpful Wikipedia listing. And yes, we have heard of Kaiser Permanente before and many people in California, where the campaign is running, have as well but that's not the case with most other marketer's that go this route.
So why? Why? Why make your potential customer work when you only have a split second of their time? Why paint pretty pictures that are devoid of commercial messaging. This isn't art. It's advertising. Wallow in the beautiful non-descriptiveness of this campaign here (PDF).
Oh, and the explanation for why those tree trunks and their copy look fake: "Apparently the photos taken of the installation were not very good and someone thought they could be improved by photoshopping the copy that was on the pillars onto the already poor quality photos."
We've done stupid dads, talking animals, women in bikinis, rape, humor, shock, poignancy, cavemen, rodents out of a cannon and hundreds of other hooks to get people to look at our ads. The meme of the moment now is suicide. GM did it. VW did it. Now we have children contemplating suicide for...lollipops. Yes, Chupa Chups thinks it's the end of the world without their lollipops with girls contemplating a jump from atop a doll house and boys contemplating death by milk. Surely the Center With Nothing to do But Complain About Innocuous Ads will have something to say about this one.