Somehow lots of big, fat, black magic markers versus one slim, green pen are supposed to convey the notion of Mini's minimalism. To us, all it does is make is make a big, confusing mess.
We don't get the logic. The big (bad) black pens help draw the car. That's a good thing. The small (good) green pen annotate what the black pens have built. To us, it look like happy team work. Not the David and Goliath battle MINI would like it to be.
Is there anything more ganked than imagery of the Last Supper? We think not. So it is without surprise we received this ad for CementBloc, an ad agency....uh, sorry..."an independent community of creative agencies" which specialize in healthcare marketing.
The tie in to the Last Supper? CementBloc wants us to "have faith." Oh and they are hyping their new agency collective with a site called Year of the Creationist.
Oh and by the way, creativity is not a skill set - but a mind set. Seriously! It's true! CementBloc says so!
Thank you, ShaveWet. We were beginning to think sex had stopped selling. As if the economy had killed it along with everything else. So thanks for uplifting our confidence. And if enough people fall prey to your sexualized manipulations, maybe you'll even bring some much needed stimulation to the economy. Hay, you're like economic Viagra. Yea, that's it.
And if you fail at swelling the economy to its former expansiveness, we can all just enjoy the harmless fantasy of a guy and three women having a good time in a hotel room. Shaving. With a lot of cream. While wet. In slow motion.
There's a hot new energy drink on the block. It's called Guru, and it boasts clean energy for dirty minds.
We don't know about all that, but the spot's a solipsistic mashup between The Real World circa 1995 and Girls Gone Wild, shortly after Mean Girls gave it brand equity with the under-13 crowd. All it needed, really, was an LFO song -- and possibly a bored American Apparel photographer looking for an extracurricular portfolio opp.
Lovin' the random incorporation of product -- as if those saucy co-eds really are running on Guru as opposed to, say, poorly-mixed drinks and hot Chee-tos.
Derivative treacle, brought to you by Virtue Worldwide. (Oh yeah, and Kanye's a fan,* if that means anything to you.)
You like big butts? Or is it square butts? Yea, we can envision the exact moment this creative epiphany struck someone down in Miami at a place called Crispin Porter + Bogusky when they dreamt up this SpongeBob Square Pants, Sir Mix-a-Lot mashup up featuring bottylicious dancers shaking their (square) asses. (See the :30 here and the full length music video here.)
We can also envision a five year old walking by Burger King and asking, "Mommy, can we go to Burger King and get some square booty?"
And we can envision the looks mommy will get from passersby wondering just what's going on at home.
Seriously? WTF? Creepy King. Square-booty'd women in school uniforms shaking their ass in a classroom-like setting. Ass measuring. Ass touching.
It's like a porn director's wet dream. Not so much for parents with kids. Here come the cause groups.
While we don't speak Spanish and can't understand all the words in this California Milk Processor Board commercial, the message is clear: a glass of milk can cheer you up on a bad day. We could use a gallon right about now.
In this commercial, created by Grupo Gallegos and animated by Psyop, a prince saves the day as a Princess' mood reeks havoc across her world. It's a grand gesture and one that's best experience without actually understanding the words. Because if you did, you'd realize the whole thing is a metaphor for the Princess' PMS and how milk lessens that monthly blow.
Because Chemistry.com can no longer poke and prod at any blatant sexual discrimination on eHarmony's part, it's decided to produce a banner about how eHarmony's still a bigot, even if it's been forced to launch a homosexual dating site.
Chem, get over yourself.
Oh, and in case anybody forgot: Chemistry.com is a Match.com company. From the moment it launched, it would appear its entire raison d'etre is to kick shins without making Match look bad. And that's not to say eHarmony doesn't deserve a little shit for making life harder for our same-sex-love chums; that's to say this ongoing haterade campaign had its day, and the day's done.
OK so yea. Like this would ever fucking happen. A kid comes home from school only to find his house empty, his parents gone and a note on the fridge which reads, "We told you that there would be consequences for hogging all of the Ovaltine. PS. Don't try to find us."
Aw...look. It's butter that's nice to bread and croissants. How is this GayLee spreadable butter so
nice? Because it's not hard, spreads easily and doesn't destroy what it's being applied to.
But come on.
Have we really arrived at a place where we need a product like this when all one needs to do is store regular butter out of the refrigerator where is won't get hard and will spread just as easily as a "spreadable" butter which is likely filled with unnecessary chemical ingredients?
OK, can you say forced? Yes you can. It's easy. First you elude to the fact your daughter is or isn't on the hockey team with the rest of the boys. Then, when she asks, "Dad, do you wish I was a boy?", you pull out some lame hockey references and deliver them with the demeanor of a guy making excuses to his girlfriend for blowing off their date last night.
And then, for the money shot, you quick cut to a close up of a McDonald's coffee cup...and OMFG...deliver the killer line, "If you were a boy, who'd be my little girl?"
Amazing what a cup of friggin' coffee can do for tongue-tied men of the world.. Thanks for sharing, Cossette.