PETA conducts its State of the Union with the one gimmick it knows can't fail: by having a somewhat attractive representative take her clothes off and talk at the same time.
We didn't really even pay attention to what she said because we were too busy lampooning her for her tasteless choice of underwear. If you're going to exploit women as a gimmick to keep people from exploiting animals, can't you at least find them better knickers than whatever they had lying around courtesy of their (already abusive) not-for-profit paycheques?
And don't even get us started on the hugging chickens and monkeys that appeared shortly after she finished her mediocre moment in the sun.
The Ad Council and the US Army join forces, enlisting AdPack to help them encourage teens to stay in school. The result? Boost Up. The gimmick? Branded tissues by Zim-squared (sorry, we can't make that symbol without getting our post all fudgey) for at-risk youth throughout NYC.
That's almost too inspirational for words. You know what? Pencils would have been more useful. Or even green recess balls with good bounce to them. We can't think of anything to say to this mediocre effort besides you guys suck. You would probably have sucked less if you ran these kids over with recruiter vans. And we're almost 99% sure those tissues you're so generously doling out don't come in neat tiki man-shaped boxes, either.
We're amazed by how the Patriot Act has affected every one of our rights except protection from double jeopardy, which remains Simpson's ongoing joke on a rubbernecking nation.
It was only a matter of time before the definitive chapter of his botched If I Did It... book leaked to the press. Our favourite part of what he would have done (if he did it) was the end: "Then something went horribly wrong, and I know what happened, but I can't tell you exactly how."
Laughter. And the smacking of gloved hands.
Read the rest of the chapter summary here.
Apparently Greenpeace attended Macworld for no better reason than to throw a wrench in Apple's game, projecting green backgrounds across large company logos as well as shots of Asian scrap yards.
Better still, they have a video of Steve Jobs crooning the sweet nothings they really want to hear in '07. There's even a website dedicated to getting Apple greener.
Hm. Greenpeace is a lot like that scary ex who insists you were wrong but keeps lurking around long after you've moved on in order to spread the word. We feel greener just thinking about it.
Owning an iPhone is the equivalent of an out-of-body experience which is the only way to justify the 7% leap in Apple share post-unveiling and the $499-$599 price tag that out-hurrahs both iPod and BlackBerry.
ZDNet talks pros and cons, foreseeing death and suffering for many companies left vulnerable in the storm of common interest. With Apple's cultlike status they could have released this to the exact same jizz-in-the-pants fanfare.
There's a vibe in the air like people are down to give Apple their credit cards for safe-keeping until June, when the first iPhones will slide off conveyor belts and into warm laps. That is, if WOM is anything to go by as the topic's received a whoppin' 1,684 mentions on Google news alone per Adfreak's last count. Obviously iPhone is already more popular than the Beatles, a sweet irony because it's really only a platform for the Beatles and because Apple recently exercised total ownage over the Beatles.
Apple also changed its official title from Apple Computers to Apple Inc, better suited to accommodate its menagerie of soon-to-be-successful non-computer products, including iPhone and the iTV which will marry the 'net to the tube. That's definitely a pairing we've seen attempted before but with Apple's blessing (and the fact that the original WebTV is now owned by MSN, adding the critical pwnage component) we're sure it will fly this time around.
This Tel Aviv campaign by Veecee protests rent spikes by adding cardboard prostitutes to a neighborhood in hopes that landlords will stop addressing humble one-bedroom flats as lofts with vaulted ceilings. Trendhunter has additional imagery and video.
The idea is neat but we're not sure how well it stands up considering bewildered passers-by in the 'hood didn't seem to have a clue why cardboard hookers were appearing at every turn.
Perhaps they can take the campaign further and populate badly-lit areas with cardboard drug dealers, car thieves and crack addicts. And while they're at it, strew a bit of sludgy litter here and there. Park a few cardboard Pintos haphazardly in corporate lots.
There are so many directions this idea can take. Do we have to stop at hookers? Just a smidge more cardboard deviance would get the message across loud and clear.
Show us somebody who's not concerned about saving some money in this economic climate, and we'll show you a liar. The Daily Reel lends help by pointing us to its Bodega spotlight, an online film by Casimir Nozkowski of Crying While Eating.
"Bodega" is a tongue-in-cheek pseudo-documentary on surviving in the Bronx, the poorest urban county in our fair nation. Coloured with tips on adequate dietary requirements for survival on a budget, hosts drop occasional profundities like "The economy is fucked the fuck up" and less-than-known tidbits like the fact that Nutz pork rinds have zero carbs. Clever. We enjoyed it even if their tonal repetitions of "Bodega" drove us the fuck crazy.
Update: As of 1/10, Oh Word releases a full version that includes another 2.5 minutes of the Bronx duo's street wisdom.
Packaging Girlhood lists the best and worst 2006 marketing campaigns aimed at girls and their sometimes less-than-savvy guardians.
Worst includes the Dora the Princess campaign for turning an educational show into a stock purveyor of pretty-in-pink stereotypes. The Bratz Party Plane with juice bar also made the cut.
We always thought Bratz' eclipse over Barbie apt. Barbie was inspired by a German doll named Lilli, actually meant for adult males. That our 21st-century improvement over the Nordic sex kitten was a multi-ethnic series of skanks with DSL lips just kills us.
The list for Best include the Dove Campaign for Real Beauty whose crowning glory was the oft-spoofed Evolution ad of '06, and the transformation of Super Mario's Princess Peach into an entity capable of making her own rescues.
So cheers to real girls who say no lip gloss and aren't afraid to stomp in puddles.
This doll with missing limbs literally blows Trailer Trash Barbie out of the running. BBDO is behind this attempt to get Singaporean consumers to pay more attention to the plight of Cambodia, which happens to be deluged with landmines.
"It's often joked that shopping is both the national sport and the national pastime [of Singapore]," ECD Farrokh Madon explains to AdCritic. "Parents looking for dolls for their baby girls were greeted with a chilling reminder of what life is like for Cambodian children."
The campaign includes a direct mail component in which company execs with children receive the doll (and others like it) at the office "since parents are the most vulnerable when it comes to kids," adds Madon. This is so they'll talk to other office folk about the grotesque gift.
The back of the box "tells the sad tale of a Cambodian Princess who loses a leg on the day of the Cambodian New Year," ultimately directing shoppers to Surprising Cambodia.
We can't help but wonder how Cambodian kids would feel receiving one of these for the holidays, and learning this is how they're being hawked in nearby countries. That would definitely give me hope for the future. Wouldn't it do the same for you?
In Lives Connected, 44 Peter A Mayer employees revisit their Katrina experiences. Far from the usual give-us-money pitch, the courage-tales nod to a tradition of legacy storytelling prevalent in New Orleans, with recurring themes weaving through each piece. The site launched around the same time hurricane season bowed out.
The NOLA-based agency calls this an "interactive data visualization" - a busy buzzword for "oral history" that we probably could have done without. But Mayer's shtick happens to be civic pride. Its slogan is, blatantly, "We wouldn't want to be anywhere else."
"[The purpose of Lives Connected] is to highlight the resilient nature of the agency and the spirit and dedication of its employees," explains a representative.
We're pretty sure somebody's going to shit all over this and claim it's an exploitation of high emotions and turbulent events. That's cool. But we liked the gesture and there's room in the Katrina narrative for more than just body counts and weepy stories. Those don't really help anybody or bring business back to the community. So nice job, guys.