Shredded Wheat (with Strawberries!): the Official Cereal of Wayward Women

What satisfies a hungry woman? Not the muscle-bound napper at left. Shredded Wheat with Strawberries, on the other hand, might give sex-starved Wifey a run for the money.

The ad comes straight out of next month's Real Simple and is brought to you by Post, the come-hither cereal company with plenty of other other colon-friendly choices. Tempting. But will they make us breakfast in bed?

Karl Lagerfeld Donned the Yellow Vest. Why Not You?

When they need to promote a drab or tiresome message, French creatives always know what buttons to push: the really, really shallow ones.

At left, Chanel's Karl Lagerfeld encourages pedestrians and motorists to wear yellow safety vests with the following message (big merci to desedo for translating): "It's yellow, it's ugly, it doesn't go with anything, but it could save your life."

Thank you, Lord Lagerfeld. I will never complain about my bicycle helmet or plump orange swimming vest ever, ever again.

The effort is part of a French government safety campaign. As of July 1, the vest and reflective triangle will be mandatory for drivers and cyclists.

Wince. No wonder they enlisted The Karl. It sounds unforgivably tasteless. Oh, the sacrifices you make in the name of life.

In an xD RS, Lava Doesn't Even Sizzle

To promote yet another limited edition vehicle, the xD RS, Scion went all Hot Lava. The subsite -- produced by SolutionSet -- features a bubbling volcano with a gray xD RS in the foreground; an explosion of lava makes it that wild red-orange color we love so much.

I find the bubbling noises comforting. They remind me of this one time we cooked a rabbit alive, invented some nifty rhymes, and put a curse on Bob Dole.

See print variant with vehicle specs. Beyond magazines and the 'net, expect to see "smoking" billboards, and street teams clad in flameproof uniforms, all from the fancy folk at ATTIK.

And while you contemplate getting an xD RS before all 2000 run out, see previous efforts for the limited edition xB Series 5 and Scion tC.

Morbid Press Play Capitalizes on George Carlin's Death

Today, not more than a few hours after word of George Carlin's death spread across the internet, this atrocity arrived in the Adrants inbox:

"Today, we learned of the passing of comedy great George Carlin, an unintentional champion of freedom of speech.

Over the years, the discussion of WHAT CAN BE SAID on TV has raised eyebrows, and court gavels. From "period" to "pregnant," how are companies talking to their audiences these days and how has it changed since years before.

An editor at [redacted] is available for commentary on this new media culture, including:

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McCain Changes Stripes, Vogue Blacks Out, Cannes Canned, Keyboard Dipped

- John McCain souped up his logo. Bystanders are skeptical. UPDATE: McCain did not change his logo. The new one comes from a third-party vendor. The Under Consideration blog apologizes for the confusion.

- For its 50th anniversary, The Marketing Society launched 50 Golden Brands, which will celebrate 50 "hero brands" for the past 50 years. Contenders include eBay, Virgin, Perrier and some weird thing called Fairy Liquid.

- George Parker taught me a new word: Adverati. He also handpicked the ugliest pictures out of Advertising Age's Cannes party post and put the subjects in a more engaging light. And by "engaging," I mean "fluorescent."

- Rocawear and Boost Mobile launched a mobile campaign. Amobee is serving the ads. The campaign is about overcoming adversity. It's also about scoring discounts and disseminating unique and motivating Jay-Z lines like "I will not lose."

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Uniqlock Scores, Gawker Goes Gorilla, Rio Sees Future, Ludacris Flows Mobile

- Repeating successes at One Show and the Clios, Uniqlo's "Uniqlock" (agency: Projector) won the Cannes Cyber Grand Prix. "Year Zero" for NIN (agency: 42 Entertainment) took Best Viral; "Sol Comments" (Mediafront Oslo) won Online Advertising.

- Gawker chose Gorilla Nation to sell its ads in Canada. The deal is exclusivo, no word if it's multi-year.

- Diggin' R&R's Tarot-style print campaign for the Rio Suites Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas. Adfreak isn't sold, though.

- WeMix and VoodooVox enable anyone to "drop a flow" (THEIR WORDS! NOT -- MINE!) from their phones and broadcast them. Ludacris is sponsoring. More cringey self-laud: "VoodooVox is the leading In-Call Media revolution." What does that mean?

- MTLB is upset about PETA, the one-sidedness of 30 Days (esp. the carnivore-meets-vegan episode), and changing people via persecution instead of supplying appealing alternatives to destructive lifestyles.

Royal Enfield Attacks Indian 'Mama's Boy' Mentality

Having previously exploited the latent tripper and pastel-lover in unlikely motorcycle buyers, Royal Enfield finally hits 'em where it hurts: love of mother.

From the pressie: "The campaign is based on a big social truth that most Indian men are 'mama's boy'."

The campaign: "Leave Home" for the Thunderbird Twinspark, by Wieden+Kennedy.

The prints:

o Revolution. One man's trajectory from baby to slacker to biker.

o Kid. This is supposed to be a man in the womb, but at first it just looked like a naked guy doing sit-ups in the dark. Which I guess might be another reason to "leave home."

Mama's boys can expect to be outed this month in all major Indian auto and lad mags. Retailers are advised to keep tissues and milk out of reach.

Galaxy92 Decries Modern Dogmas ... Well, Except for the Ones it Made Last Year

Greek station Galaxy 92 made a resonant impression on us in 2007 with "DOGMA," a print campaign where dictators proclaim the merits of music.

But that was then. Galaxy's gone 180 on our asses. "Stop Modern Dogmas," its current ads demand -- in little red buttons! -- over images of brassy, but vapid, constructs of modern worship:

o Celebritism
o Nip Tuckism (at left)

Slogan: "All music. No dogma." No word on how Galaxy92 feels about the ones it invented last year. I imagine they're exempt from scorn -- or else they did very, very poorly amongst the public.

"Stop Modern Dogmas" was put together by Lowe, Athens, the creators of "DOGMA."

'Delicate Flowers' Don Helmets, Make Naughty in Women's Football

For Pittsburgh Passion, an indy women's football league, Garrison Hughes asks us to "celebrate the delicate flower that is woman ... as well as the beauty of one delicate flower drilling the other delicate flower into the ground." Touchdown, BITCH!

Also see variant: "A woman's hands can heal, teach, inspire and comfort. It can also deliver a wicked head-slap when the ref's not looking."

How very "I am woman, hear me roar! -- or at least pull a flag once in awhile." (Kidding. I'm sure women's football is ultra-rowdy.)

Would've been awesome if the talent were actual Pittsburgh Passion players and not just Corbis fodder. Maybe they felt put-off by the soft-focus lens technique.

ONDCP Puts Hispanic Parents on Drug Alert ... by Villainizing Their Children

Coinciding with the (coincidental!) release of a CDC survey that found Hispanic teens more likely to use drugs and try suicide than black and white kids, the Office for National Drug Control Policy (ONDCP) launched this really weird campaign.

The heading above the girl at left says, "I sell drugs during recess." And here's one where a sheepish-looking boy divulges, "Yesterday, I offered marijuana to your daughter."

The effort will appear in print, on TV and over the radio.

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