Given the continuously sex-addled mind of the human male, you wouldn't think a strip club would have to advertise at all. Yet they do. Apparently even horny men need motivation from time to time.
One such strip club -- yes, the prefer to be called a gentleman's club -- Spearmint Rhino has decided its time to do an online ad. Well, a YouTube video that's an ad actually.
The ad places Spearmint Rhino strippers -- or actresses that play strippers -- inside an office setting with all the usual antics and shenanigans. Complete with charts that -- haha, we get the joke -- scream "Customer smiles on the rise" and a break room that's, well, a strip club, the semi-NSFW ad goes all out like an old school GoDaddy ad on Viagra.
This is a rare one for Subway. After all, it's brands like Carl's Jr. and Agent Provocateur that usually own the sex sells angle. So to see the seemingly conservative Subway get all up in our faces with the Sexy Halloween Costume thing is, to be honest, a bit jarring.
But who are we to get down on a brand for having a bit of harmless fun? Wait, what? Harmless fun? You mean the kind of fun that sets women back 50 years and cements the fact that they're sex objects?
This is just what every man who is stuck in the desert wants, right? Not water. No way. That's boring. How about a bevy of bodacious babes shaking their booty in Agent Provocateur lingerie? Oh yea. That's way better, right?
Of course it is! After all, if you were stranded in the desert and given the choice of water or ten hot women barely dressed in bras and thongs sticking their impossibly bootylicious asses and bulging breasts in your face until you were about to explode all over the place, what would you choose?
Fact: Boobs bounce when women run. Fact: Society thinks bouncing boobs are somehow offensive. So what happens when a woman wearing a strapless top jogs along the beach -- in slow motion...as Chariots of Fires plays -- while her boobs bounce uncontrollably all to sell a "strapless" fitness tracker from TomTom?
The ad gets banned, of course. Somehow, a woman's natural assets are offensive to some. Perhaps they've never taken a course in physics which would have informed them that motion and gravity tend to have an effect on things. Perhaps they fail to realize that boobs are just a natural body part that all women possess that shouldn't define them any more than the size of one's finger does.
Alas, breasts have a stigma. They are equated with sex and many feel anything other that well concealed breasts just scream, "I'm a sex object and all I want is sex 24 hours a day, seven days a week."
And this is why ads with bouncing boobs get banned
And while we're on the topic of lingerie, here's yet another ad confirming the apparent fact only super hot women wear lingerie. This ad, for Ultimo, has British model Abbey Clancy sporting several version of the brand's under things.
It would seem the old adage holds true. If you've got it, you might as well flaunt it and that's just what Clancy's been doing. This shoot follows other work she's done for lingerie brands Veet and Scholl.
Interestingly, her appearance in those Veet and Scholl ads has sparked what's being referred to as "bra wars" and has angered Ultimo big wig Michelle Mone. It seems Clancy did work for other brands while still under contract with Ultimo.
But let's not let that little kerfuffle get in the way on appreciating Clancy's stunning beauty.
Last year, Penelope Cruz work with Agent Provocateur to create a dazzling video in which lingerie-clad women frolic about in a mansion as a man wearing sunglasses ogles them while strolling through. In the end, the epic lust-fest is all in the man's head.
We all have our favorite clothes we like to wear and, perhaps, even our favorite underwear. MeUndies underwear brand would like us to believe its underwear is so comfortable, we'd wear it 365 days a year.
Now hopefully they aren't implying we wear the same pair of underwear for 365 days because, you know, that would be gross. No matter how hot you are, you should most definitely change your underwear every day.
Speaking of changing underwear every day, check out these hotties in this MeUndies video that features booty after booty slipping in and out of underwear, coupled with the usual activities you engage in while in your underwear. Hint: it's mostly sex.
Latching onto the notion children do not respect boundaries or privacy when it comes to snooping around the house for fun items to play with, this gun safety ad from Evolve features two mothers talking to one another while their children run around the house and play.
No sooner had we shared our lament over the fact Carl's Jr. and Hardee's had seemingly abandoned their sex sells approach, we see Kia is unapologetically illustrating the awesome power a hot woman holds over a man, or in this case, sports fans who think there are actually sports other than soccer worth watching during World Cup month.
In three David&Goliath-created spots, Adriana Lima (and her endless legs and come-hither smirk) turns men into slack-jawed putty which she then molds into World Club fans by cooing, "In my country, this is football."
Like lemmings off a cliff, every guy is more than happy to become a soccer fan for a month. And why not? What wouldn't you do for a supermodel in a little black dress?
"Oh yea. Don't be afraid, baby. It's just me Better than sex. All I want is to give you the longest, thickest, most luscious lashes of your life. Think you can handle that? OK, baby. Dip my wand and let me get to work."