Did you ever have that fantasy about looking so hot that other hotties literally pause on the street to look at you? Or make love to themselves against your windows? Or put on period costumes to play kinky games around your body while you complete yoga postures?
We all have. And it's all in this Equinox spot by Fallon.
But wait! There's more.
In yet another example of what constitutes acceptable advertising in countries outside the United States, we have this billboard in Denmark with a decidedly blunt message. Promoting the alcoholic energy drink Cult Shaker, the events the company hosts and its "Cult Girls," the board asks us to "fornicate" the naked girl shown on the billboard because she is famous.
Hopefully, nobody takes board's message too seriously and starts humping it like a frustrated boy at a high school prom who, for the whole night, has been maddeningly titillated by his date's protuberant prom dress cleavage and, as a result, is nearing both an embolism caused by his throbbing heart rate and the onset of another imminently explosive, uncontrollable bodily event.
Whoa. Where did that come from? Well, hey, the board is pretty blunt so why not some blunt editorial to accompany it?
In what could possibly be construed as a sort-of NSFW image (hey, she is wearing a bathing suit), we have here some lusciously prime booty beef donning the Apple logo in some sort of twisted brand appreciation. Oh yes, the lady doesn't have the logo painted on, rather Photoshopped, but it's still a well-placed logo floating around Flickr bound to be seen by many. Mac fanatics will rejoice.
Just yesterday, we had the pleasure of viewing seven ladies clad (barely) in UPS garb seemingly showing their love for the Brown. Like Assvertising of old, booty branding seems to be the new trend of the moment. After all, two makes a trend, right?
What is it about UPS that causes hot women to dress in sexy versions of the delivery company's uniforms and pose alluringly for the camera. The famed "UPS Girl" has been floating around the web for years dressed in high heeled boots, booty-baring, thong-like hot pants, a halter top and the signature cap. She's beautiful. She's girl-next-door cute and she's hot.
Apparently, UPS is just fine with this hottie sporting the company's brand. That is unless we've missed the cease and desists...which, of course would be stupid. What brand wouldn't want to have their face in front of every girl-obsessed person in the world? You can see all of her in all her glory here. To say she is fine would be an understatement.
Now here's something pretty stupid. AdFreak has the story of a woman that performed a faux orgasm in a video ad for an online jeweler Szul.com. She's now suing Szul and its production company, Q2 Entertainment, for $5 million because she claims the ad looks pornographic and has harmed her wholesome image. As always, there's two sides to every story. What? You think Adrants is heavily biased and only reports stories with a one-sided viewpoint? OK, maybe that's true but not this time.
It's getting to the point where when viewing the latest American Apparel ad you begin to wonder if they are even real. That or some art director over there has a constant hard on and can't create anything that doesn't resemble a place in which to thrust his throbbing urgency. American Apparel ads have always been racy. They've always pushed boundaries. So this latest "OH MY GOD you are so huge - stick that thing in me right now, baby! " ad from the clothier shouldn't surprise. And doesn't. But it does make one want to stick...OK, we'll spare you and stop right there.
Appropriately and quite humorously, the ad is for the company's The Tap Panty. Cute. Witty. Ironic. And all that. Now it's time for that American Apparel art director to go jack off and get back to making ads that don't portray women as fuck objects. But, wait. An ass like this is always nice to look at. OK, kidding...but not really.
What? Groan... Hello? Oh damn, is it 2008 already? Do we really have to go back to work? All that eggnog, skiing, presents and endless repeats of Christmas movies was becoming an enjoyable norm. Oh well. One does have to get off the holiday couch after a while, take a shower and re-join the human race.
We're sure everyone's feeling a bit groggy this first day back to work so we're going to bluntly kick you in the ass this morning with 2007's Raciest Ads of the Year. After all, a bit of T and A gets everyone up, right?
So, here we go. And since there's no reason to limit one's pleasure, we're not limiting this list to top ten or anything like that. We're just sharing what we think are worthy (read lame use of sex when all else fails) entries in this category. No worries if you finish before you finish. The goodies will be here when you're ready to go again.
Now wait just a friggin' minute. Since when does fine, upstanding AdFreak get to dwell in the Adrants gutter by posting images of impossibly hot ass? Well, apparently, a couple days before the holiday break when either no one in the industry is really working so no one will see it or all the agency bosses have left early making it open season for employees to stare at bootylicious ass rather than finalize that media plan or revise that layout for the fifteenth time.
Barbara Lippert called it "too, too cheeky." Brandweek called it "provocative." We'll just call it damn fine ass and be done with it. At this point, does it even matter what this ad is for? Do you really care? No, you don't. You just want to stare at it, fantasize about being with it and hope no one walking by your office catches you in the middle of pulse pounding mental moment..
Perhaps taking a cue from Arnold's Boston office holiday party last year during which stripper antics were performed on a pole in Creative Director Pete Favat's office, Arnold New York management hired five strippers for its New York office party held at Pravda reports Agency Spy reports.
It seems the ladies stripped down to nothing but pasties and thongs leaving employees, Agency Spy reports, "shocked and horrified" with female employees "alienated" and male employees "guilty." While a full on strip show might not be the best entertainment of an office holiday party, pictures of the event make it all look like a harmless, burlesque-like show. In fact, the one lone female caught observing the so-called strip tease is smiling. Yes, smiling. Hardly indicative of "shock and horror." OK, so it's only one picture and to be fair, hardly indicative of the entire evening.
Perhaps we missed Adventure Number One (oops, no we didn't) but Agency Provocateur, in its never ending quest to be as provocative as possible gives us Adventure Number Two, The Lady of the Manor, a full blown storybook-style glimpse inside the world of Manor living, the lady that runs the house and the maids who do her bidding. Of course, this isn't a story about your average manor living. It's a tricked out, male fantasy-focused version complete with lingerie-clad maids receiving spankings and morning frolics in bed.
We, of course, have absolutely no problem enjoying this creation to the fullest extent. However, we wonder what its appeal is to women. Apart from the few women who enjoy watching other women prance about in lingerie, we're curious how many women really want to witness the day in the life of an objectified, subservient maid. [Ed. Oh shut up you idiot. This is advertising. Can't you just leave a good T and A campaign alone?]