Wow. Could this potentially sexy ad be any less sexy and more pedestrian that it is? To promote its full body blow dryer, Triton created a video featuring a nude model in her bathroom taking a shower and then drying off. While all this imagery is happening (nude and possibly NSFW), an announcer drones on about how the product saves on towel usage, doesn't spread germs, makes for less laundry, reduces harmful humidity, warms you on a cold winter morning and makes drying the kids and pets fun.
Hmm, apparently every ad doesn't have to be innuendo-laden and over the top objectifying of women to actually convey a commercial message. Who knew?
When the vanity that is Hair Club for Men Hooks up with the vanity that is Playboy, it's clear we've entered a new chapter in the book of cultural vanity. When otherwise perfectly good looking but folically challenged men are paired with perfectly airbrushed (oh wait. that's so 70's. Photoshopped) Playboy Playmates, well, you have an online game, of course. Yes, really. After all, it's likely the only time you'll see a balding guy with a hot chic.
The game, Photo Hunt was created by Cowboy, an agency George Parker recently riffed asking, "Cowboy!!! Fucking Cowboy!!! They have to be kidding, right?"
So you're going to accuse us of covering this news item simply because of our apparent penchant for all things racy? Please, please, please. Have more confidence in us that that! There isn't even any nudity in this work. Well at least not the real kind.
Anyway, in Germany, they let brands take over the covers of Playboy and car maker SEAT, with help from Barcelona-based Atletico International Advertising, has one of its cars climbing the mountainous regions of a woman illustrated in the form of an elevation map.
The special edition of the magazine was distributed as a giveaway and was placed in the waiting rooms of German SEAT dealers. Not so subtly, the tagline translates to English as, "SEAT Altea Freetrack. Access All Areas."
See. No nudity.
Did you ever have that fantasy about looking so hot that other hotties literally pause on the street to look at you? Or make love to themselves against your windows? Or put on period costumes to play kinky games around your body while you complete yoga postures?
We all have. And it's all in this Equinox spot by Fallon.
But wait! There's more.
In yet another example of what constitutes acceptable advertising in countries outside the United States, we have this billboard in Denmark with a decidedly blunt message. Promoting the alcoholic energy drink Cult Shaker, the events the company hosts and its "Cult Girls," the board asks us to "fornicate" the naked girl shown on the billboard because she is famous.
Hopefully, nobody takes board's message too seriously and starts humping it like a frustrated boy at a high school prom who, for the whole night, has been maddeningly titillated by his date's protuberant prom dress cleavage and, as a result, is nearing both an embolism caused by his throbbing heart rate and the onset of another imminently explosive, uncontrollable bodily event.
Whoa. Where did that come from? Well, hey, the board is pretty blunt so why not some blunt editorial to accompany it?
In what could possibly be construed as a sort-of NSFW image (hey, she is wearing a bathing suit), we have here some lusciously prime booty beef donning the Apple logo in some sort of twisted brand appreciation. Oh yes, the lady doesn't have the logo painted on, rather Photoshopped, but it's still a well-placed logo floating around Flickr bound to be seen by many. Mac fanatics will rejoice.
Just yesterday, we had the pleasure of viewing seven ladies clad (barely) in UPS garb seemingly showing their love for the Brown. Like Assvertising of old, booty branding seems to be the new trend of the moment. After all, two makes a trend, right?
What is it about UPS that causes hot women to dress in sexy versions of the delivery company's uniforms and pose alluringly for the camera. The famed "UPS Girl" has been floating around the web for years dressed in high heeled boots, booty-baring, thong-like hot pants, a halter top and the signature cap. She's beautiful. She's girl-next-door cute and she's hot.
Apparently, UPS is just fine with this hottie sporting the company's brand. That is unless we've missed the cease and desists...which, of course would be stupid. What brand wouldn't want to have their face in front of every girl-obsessed person in the world? You can see all of her in all her glory here. To say she is fine would be an understatement.
Now here's something pretty stupid. AdFreak has the story of a woman that performed a faux orgasm in a video ad for an online jeweler Szul.com. She's now suing Szul and its production company, Q2 Entertainment, for $5 million because she claims the ad looks pornographic and has harmed her wholesome image. As always, there's two sides to every story. What? You think Adrants is heavily biased and only reports stories with a one-sided viewpoint? OK, maybe that's true but not this time.
It's getting to the point where when viewing the latest American Apparel ad you begin to wonder if they are even real. That or some art director over there has a constant hard on and can't create anything that doesn't resemble a place in which to thrust his throbbing urgency. American Apparel ads have always been racy. They've always pushed boundaries. So this latest "OH MY GOD you are so huge - stick that thing in me right now, baby! " ad from the clothier shouldn't surprise. And doesn't. But it does make one want to stick...OK, we'll spare you and stop right there.
Appropriately and quite humorously, the ad is for the company's The Tap Panty. Cute. Witty. Ironic. And all that. Now it's time for that American Apparel art director to go jack off and get back to making ads that don't portray women as fuck objects. But, wait. An ass like this is always nice to look at. OK, kidding...but not really.
What? Groan... Hello? Oh damn, is it 2008 already? Do we really have to go back to work? All that eggnog, skiing, presents and endless repeats of Christmas movies was becoming an enjoyable norm. Oh well. One does have to get off the holiday couch after a while, take a shower and re-join the human race.
We're sure everyone's feeling a bit groggy this first day back to work so we're going to bluntly kick you in the ass this morning with 2007's Raciest Ads of the Year. After all, a bit of T and A gets everyone up, right?
So, here we go. And since there's no reason to limit one's pleasure, we're not limiting this list to top ten or anything like that. We're just sharing what we think are worthy (read lame use of sex when all else fails) entries in this category. No worries if you finish before you finish. The goodies will be here when you're ready to go again.