Dear Bob Parsons,
While your infatuation with Candice Michelle is clearly understood, your infatuation with placing her in commercial after commercial is not. We'd be more likely to understand that infatuation if the commercials were actually any good but with each new addition to the collection, the commercials slip further down the hill towards uninteresting mediocrity. It was funny once when Candice couldn't keep her top on. It was mildly funny when she rubbed her boobs against the window while on that window washing scaffolding. But it's hardly funny at all to watch her run through sprinklers across a golf course while an old dude gawks "Oh, the GoDaddy Girl!" Some amount of interests in the spot might occur if Candice's water-soaked breasts actually moved in a manner resembling human physiology rather than that of a plastic surgeon's creation.
That said, the spots wouldn't be any better if Candice were flat or a natural 36DDD. Since the original Super Bowl spot, Bob, an important thing called creativity seems to have eluded you. No doubt Candice is a wonderful person but it's time to move on. The gimmick is dead. It's time to leave the whole bimbo routine behind. Perhaps, with your new GoDaddy Girl, Danica Patrick, the obsession with big, fake breasts will wane. Now, if you want to feature yet another GoDaddy Girl who sports big breasts that actually move while in motion, we might not be so critical. Oh but wait, then we'd simply be perpetuating the stereotype of casting women as objects of desire. We'd never want to do that, right, Bob?
So, Bob, it's really time to move on. It's time for a new approach. Time stop the ogling, the breaking tank top straps, the wet t-shirt runs, the bimbo maneuvers. Oh fuck it. Just go out and build a stable to GoDaddy Girls rivaling the collection of Maxim Girls and you and your business will be gold.
Equally Breast Obsessed,
Beyond Madison Avenue has examined two recent AIDS campaigns. The first, an LA-based campaign which carries the headline "HIV is a gay disease" is causing a stir but if those causing the stir would just read the body copy, they'd know that's not entirely what the ad's saying. The second, a German campaign, carries a racier tone typical of many European ads and cites, "It's easy to lose your head when your horny." Oh, the double (or is it triple) meaning there is just gold.
While it may be true that Bill Murray does, actually, hang with porn stars, we're thinking if he's good enough to hang with Scarlett Johansson, he probably doesn't need porn stars. Having said that, our favorite text-trashing text link poster child, IntelliTXT thought the "actors" Bill Murray was with when he played golf the other day might need a little help scoring their next gig and helpfully linked them to xxxpornjobs.com. (You do know that's not a work-safe link, don't you?) Don't you just love contextual advertising fuckery?
There aren't many people who use the term "brand spanking new" let alone use it to announce a "brand spanking new website" let along film four thong-clad women actually spanking each other while jumping up and down on a gigantic bouncy castle. But, there are some and biker insurance company Bennetts, located in the UK, is one. If you're interested in biker insurance or, more likely, even if you're not, wallow in the silliness that these three spots deliver and remember, we work in the same industry from which these wondrous creations came. For its pure foolishness, we like it. Ariel, not so much.
Continuing its fixation with strippers and their apparent ability to convey Napster's marketing message, the once free-for-all now pay-for-all music service has trotted out yet another stripper to illustrate just how bad the iTunes buck-a-song premise is compared to Napster's all you can eat offering. We suppose the analogy works. After all, no one really wants to own a stripper. They just want to rent one for a little while until they're...well...finished.
- These BBDO-created Suzuki ads have some very intricate and intriguing illustration.
- Beginning November 17, the University of Texas in Austin is hosting Chaos 2006, a two day event focusing on the crazy changes going on in advertising. Yes, Bob Garfield will be in the house.
- Of you're sick of sponsoring that same old boring sports for your marketing programs, you might want to check out this combination of volleyball, soccer and gymnastics called Bossaball.
We're not quite sure Palmers is a clothing company because, just like Sloggis, the models in the company's ads, like the one featured here in Berlin, are never wearing much. A web search doesn't tell us much only offering up even more images of models wearing next to nothing. A lingerie company? A thong-wearing showgirl troupe? Some kind of bootie-based therapy or the public? It looks good to us no matter what the company does.
Continuing it's Keep Dreaming of A Better World campaign, Che Magazine gives us yet another thing to dream about when it comes to a better world. That is if you think a better world is made of up female tennis players exchanging shirts at the end of a match. Oh, the things people do for publicity. This comes from our friends over at Duval Guillaume Antwerp.
From our hot women-obsessed friends over at Jewish social network. Koolanoo, comes yet another video filled with, yes, hot women and...huh...what is that gigantic thing between your legs, my friend? Oh just watch and find out. While there's no nudity (aside from a guy's backside) in this video, you might want to turn the volume down before viewing lest you want your office mates to think you've got some kind of orgy going on in your office.
If you want to check out who's having office sex at the agency next door or who's grabbing ass to win new busines, check out TalentZoo's new section called the break room, a place where all the industry's nastiness can be shared by all. We particularly like the story from Becca who said, after a certain office activity, "My pumps made black marks on the wall."
Nice touch with the martini glass. Hmm, where have we seen that before?