This ad will make you laugh. If it doesn't, you are way too uptight and your standards for advertising excellence are too high. Last week, we had sideways beauty bowling used to demonstrate the smoothing qualities of WAM hair removal. This week, the shtick is decidedly more mundane. Yet, it still works. That is if you like watching a woman with long legs wearing a miniskirt and high heels get off an elevator and walk across a marble floor until...well, just watch.
A hint: It's for Nivea Body Smooth Sensation. And no, it's not a real ad. It's from the South Korean Chosun University ad school.
Tactic 375 from the book, "How to Guarantee Your Ad Will Get Banned...And Get Seen by Millions" - make an amateur video of a teenage girl giving birth on a Leicester (England) high school field as students crowd around to watch like it's some kind of hair pulling bitch fight.
The clip comes from the National Health Service. As with many "virals," it's unbranded which, as is always the case, makes us wonder, "What's the point?" If you're just going to shock without including any viewpoint, why do it in the first place? Oh right. We can't actually tell people stuff. Then it would be advertising and people hate advertising. So we have to be all sneaky and shit. Hence faux viral clips such as this.
Actually, we should just shut up. Like the reveal of an old school teaser billboard, a branded version of this clip will be seeded later this week.
Created by The Rocket Science Group, the video was seeded by The 7th Chamber Friday and quickly got the boot from YouTube. Predictable, the press are all over it. The Sun. The Guardian. The Leicester Mercury. BrandRepublic.
If there's one thing the Japanese appear to be obsessed with when it comes to game shows and advertising, it's attractive women in bikinis. Doing strange things. Like sliding down a bowling alley sideways while wearing a bikini for a Ladies Beauty Bowling competition. All to promote a hair removal product.
Strange as it is, we like this ad but can someone at Ogilvy Mather Japan, the agency which created this ad, please tell us why, if this ad is running in Japan, all the signage is in English and the the voiceover is accompanied by English subtitles? That is, aside from making it easy for us English-speaking ad critics to understand.
Bigger is always better, right? Well, at least when it comes to boobs and...wait. what, cameras? Yes, according to Nikon (or whomever created this ad which may or may not be real), like a D cup versus a B cup, 3 million pixels are better than 2 million pixels.
Given this ad refers to 2 and 3 megapixels, it's quite clear it's is several years old. And given current cameras average 8-10 megapixels, were this ad to run today, the poor model on the right would be so big, she wouldn't fit in the frame. And then Nikon would have to start promoting wide angle lenses and then...well, who knows where it would end.
In the movie Bulworth, Warren Beatty said, "If we all fucked each other we'd eventually end up the same color." That statement was meant to imply racial tension is caused by the differences among the people of the world and it could all be solved if we all just hopped in the sack with each other.
If you applied that logic to the world of finance, you might end up with this commercial from German finance company Bontrust in which German pianist Clara Schumann, the face of the 100 DM hops into the sack with America's Abe Lincoln for some stimulating economic activity which results in what would appear to be profitable co-mingling.
But Abe isn't the one one who gets in on the action.
We like to think our Adrants headlines, on occasion, are snark-filled gems of wit and pithiness but this particular headline wasn't written by us. Apparently, it was written by a copywriter whose first language is, it would seem, not English. Or the ad was carelessly pushed through some automated translation software which, as we all know, never ends well.
Add to that boner (look it up. the word doesn't have just one meaning) of a headline the expulsion of a milky white substance, some creepy fireman shapes and a woman who looks quite pleased after she swallows and you've got an ad that, well, would be right at home as an SNL spoof...if they were allowed to go that far on broadcast television.
What's it all about? Some kind of heartburn medicine from Gaviscon.
Antonio Federici Gelato just busted out with a print ad campaign where nuns and priests get a little more intimate than the Holy Spirit is comfortable with. Short but sizzling taglines include "submit to temptation" and "kiss temptation" (see variant).
But the UK's Advertising Standards Authority -- which has shafted campaigns for lesser blasphemies -- has apparently never indulged in the sensual magic that defines gelato. The watchdog is investigating the ads now, but that's pretty much a formality: according to the Committee of Advertising Practice, "linking sex or sexualised images with religion may cause particular offence" and "portraying nuns in a sexual manner is inappropriate."
Thank you, ShaveWet. We were beginning to think sex had stopped selling. As if the economy had killed it along with everything else. So thanks for uplifting our confidence. And if enough people fall prey to your sexualized manipulations, maybe you'll even bring some much needed stimulation to the economy. Hay, you're like economic Viagra. Yea, that's it.
And if you fail at swelling the economy to its former expansiveness, we can all just enjoy the harmless fantasy of a guy and three women having a good time in a hotel room. Shaving. With a lot of cream. While wet. In slow motion.
Wait, Sirens? Isn't that Victoria's Secret? Anyway, the sirens we're talking about here are the models in this very strange but very appropriate commercial for Agent Provocateur. We'd expect nothing less from a purveyor of lingerie fixated on sexualizing anything and everything to sell some bras and underwear.
Oh and there is a nipple in this ad so if that offends you or anyone near you, you have been warned. And there's a longer, very stylized version (along with others) at the Agent Provocateur site. It's interactive with asterisks you can click for product information.
Want more Agent Provocateur kinkyness? Have at it.
Alrighty then. All women wear bikinis, sundresses and short shorts while exploring the world on a bicycle, right? Oh, and let's not forget engaging in a little bit of bondage, too. Um, WTF? This, to sell a bike? Johnny Loco bikes. Yea, loco is right.
Created by New Message Amsterdam, the campaign will run in outdoor, print and online in The Netherlands, Spain, Denmark, South Africa and Australia. It was shot in South Africa by advertising and fashion photographer Rene Kramers.
OK, then. Now back to our regularly schedule ad campaigns.