OK. So you're sitting on a bench in the park. just enjoying your paper. Wait, what? Nobody reads the paper anymore. But we didn't create this video and that's not what we're interested in. Anyway. So you're reading your paper and some hot chick in workout clothing decides to give you the look and then do a few stretches right in front of you.
At that point, you're thankful to the Gods of Chance and figure your day has been made. But the fun isn't over yet. The hottie decides to switch the song that's she's listening to to one that's akin to a song you might hear in a night club - full of bass and deep enough to make things shake. And that's when you get the full on boobalicious pay off.
Give it a watch
Depending upon the source, today is National Cleavage Day. Or maybe it was March 26. It really doesn't matter. Thanks to Wonderbra, we now have this annual celebration of the female breast. So in celebration of such in important event, let's take a look back at some of the bra busting ads we've covered here on Adrants over the years.
Most recently, the Chinese, increasingly fixated on big boobs, came out with an ad for what can only be described as boob clamp lingerie. A woman adorns herself with the slinky satin and then pulls a few string and BAM, her boobs are suddenly twice as big.
Right in line with Asia's general fixation with boobs, comes this extremely weird commercial for ice cream in which a deliciously endowed Asian girl whose breasts are far too big for her tiny bikini top frolics with a pair of ice cream cones.
Jacques Magazine hooked up with Jonathan Leder and the stunningly endowed Lauren Young for a couple of videos to hype the magazine. In the first, Young plays Squash. Or tries to as her bulbous breasts bounce inside the confines of her cute, pink outfit. In the second, Young dons some very tight blue pants and a bra that's two sizes to small for her globes of glory. She then illustrates just how exciting bowling can be. That or how impossible it is for her to keep herself from caressing her curves until, well, until she reaches the inevitable completion.
Let's be clear about something here. It's not just men who "leverage" boobs for their own personal gain. Miss Fit, a UK-based lingerie specializing in clothing, lingerie and swimwear for women lucky (or unlucky depending upon viewpoint) enough to possess DD cup or larger breasts, signed a deal with the very curvaceous X Factor star Maria lawson.
Lawson is a perfect fit for Miss Fit. More than twice the size of a DD, Lawson straps herself into a 36JJ bra when she gets dressed in the morning. Miss Fit is owned by a woman.
Copyranter has unearthed a gem from Jack & Jones Fitness. The brand lives within the world of irony and has a very unique way of hyping its fitness club. In one video, the tables are turned and a guy is seen as a sex object complete with all the stereotypical complaints you here from women about sex.
In a second video, men are seen as a new line of Spring fashion. Or is it that the women are so hot they make the men pass out thereby needing resuscitation? Or is it that the men are so out of shape they can't have sex without a trip to Jack & Jones Fitness?
Either way, it's humorous to see a woman give mouth to mouth to a guy's dick. And come to the realization Jack & Jones is actually a fashion brand.
- In the never ending pantheon of "what will they think of next," graphic Armor and Condomania are releasing a line of condoms, Kiss Kondoms, which will prominently feature Gene Simmons' tongue. We don't know about you but we sure don't want another guy's tongue on our dick.
- Elephant Filmworks recently produced an eight episode teen-centric web series called "The Lines" for Allstate Insurance. The first season of "The Lines" will promote safe driving habits to teens and young adults.
- Remember when everyone thought it was so cool you could order pizza online. Never caught on did it? Well, that hasn't stopped Domino's Pizza which, through eBay Advertising, is touting the fact online orders can now be paid for using PayPal.
- Three Olives Vodka decided to animate for their latest campaign. California-based Hanger One Vodka decided to go country.
- Definitely not as hot as Melissa Molinaro in Old Navy's first music video outing but Tyne Stecklein, a dancer chosen for what would have been Michael Jackson's final tour, isn't so bad, herself.
- And why not? A family has launched a website to get its move from Texas to New York sponsored.
- Hashable has put together a report that will tell you everything you wanted to know about how people used its Twitter-based connection app at SXSW.
And so it would seem there's not a single marketing tactic left a brand can use to catch the attention of its target audience. After all, if there were, Calvin Klein wouldn't have to resort to hiding the word "fuck" on their billboard at Houston Lafayette in New York.
Of course, after looking at the board and the stunningly hot Lara Stone whose cleavage is spilling out of her tiny bikini top, fuck is probably an apt summation of what many people would like to do after passing by this board.
But it's all good. We'll give the brand points for consistency. Because when you think about it, the brand really hasn't changed its course much at all since it taunted us teasingly with the 15 year old Brooke Shields back in the day.
- A group of Toledo Jeep dealers liked Chrysler's Imported from Detroit ad, they made one of their own. Chrysler was not pleased.
- Those hotties from the sky keep falling. This time, the Axe Angels are falling to the floor of London's Victoria Station courtesy of some interesting virtual reality.
- Sixty things your husband could do if he wasn't watching TV.
- Nightclub promotion offers free boob job as prize.
- All the QR code/barcode drama reduced to a simple infographic.
- The shortlist for the Affiliate Marketing Awards is out today.
Pretty soon, New York's hottest sports fan is going to run out of teams to support with her bootylicious antics. Tehmeena Afzal, who has already lent her giants to the New York Giants and inflated passion for the New York Knicks, can currently be seen in an ode to the New York Mets that gives us a peek at what baseball might look like if it had a Lingerie Bowl.
And you just might not look at a bat the same way after viewing this video.
We like the logic of this new Hardee's commercial from David & Goliath (who, we wish, would email us instead of slapping a YouTube copyright violation on our ass if they'd like us to remove a spot) that continues the brand's tradition of using hot women in bikinis to sell their sandwiches.
To help everyone remember how great their new charbroiled turkey burger is, the brand hired Miss Turkey and placed her in a bikini with tiny pictures of its charbroiled turkey burger. Explaining this approach, the voiceover concludes with, "And that's just the way it is."
Never before have we heard such truism in a commercial and the complete, unapologetic acknowledgement that sex will, and forever, be used to sell. Nice work, David & Goliath. But please stop tarnishing our image on YouTube by complaining to them about videos YOU sent to us. OK? Are we cool now?
This one may not be up for long. A new ad for 2K Sports' game Top Spin 4 features Serena Williams - billed as the world's sexiest tennis player - and Rileah Vanderbilt - billed as the world's sexiest tennis gamer served up as a delicious meal of lingerie-clad slow motion boobs, in-your-face butt and orgasmic moans.
Though the ad did emanate from 2K Sports, the brand is distancing itself from the work telling Joystiq, "As part of the process for creating marketing campaigns to support our titles, we pursue a variety of creative avenues. This video is not part of the title's final marketing campaign and its distribution was unauthorized."
- Burger King and Crispin Porter + Bogusky have ended their seven year relationship.
- The Chicago Sun Times has let go ad critic Lewis Lazare.
- A sex doll commits suicide in an ad all to promote a dating site.
- Super hottie Tehmeena Afzal is out with another video. This one's for a local car dealer and she's wearing less clothing than she ever has before.