In Kate Upton's latest dalliance with food -- it's like some kind of aphrodisiac for her -- arrives home with her roommate, gets hungry, seductively changes, heads to her bedroom, turns on Larry King, practically has an orgasm while consuming a meaty Pocket and slips into a psychedelic dream featuring Snoop Dogg doing a mashup of Biz Markie's 1989 hit "Just a Friend (You Got What I Need) which ends up "You Got What I Eat."
Now if that isn't a dirty double entendre, we don't know what is. Yea, selling sandwiches with a fantasy in which Snoop Dogg sings to Upton about how much he'd like to eat her.
Oh the wit and whim of some marketers. Acknowledging the fact a substantial number of people may have more time on their hands having been affected by the government shutdown, online retailer Vibrators.com is mailing out 200 free vibrators each day to anyone who uses the discount code "shutdown."
So, yes. this isn't exclusive to federal employees but the promotion is certainly aimed at them. The company promises to deliver 200 free dildos daily until the shutdown ends. The offer is limited to 200 per day so as not to overrun production...which, of course, you know it would if the count were higher.
Someone over at Carl's Jr. has a real fetish for hot women wearing heels, pleated miniskirts, cami tops, bikinis and all kinds of other hottie-wear while getting messy eating a fat, juicy burger. In this case, the hot woman is Miss Alabama Katherine Webb who, like every hottie before her, can't seem to eat a burger without spilling it all over herself and sweating her ass off while doing so.
Fully leveraging the notion of the "hook up," in-image ad platform, gumgum, is out with a promotional video in which a super hot ad guy hooks up with a super hot image girl to, ya know, make sure we all understand gumgum is all about showing ads and images a really good time by allowing them to seamlessly hookup in orgasmic bliss.
The video's tagline? You guessed it. "Enhance your brand's performance." The brand's tagline? You guessed it. "Where images and ads hook up."
It's funny the things you learn when watching ads. Who knew bouncing boobs, while a whole lot more fun to watch in action, cause a woman to burn fewer calories when working out than if she were to wear a bounce-inhibiting sports bra? That's really the only conclusion we can come to after viewing this Tony Petrossian-directed spot for Sportsmaster, a top european sports retailer.
Perhaps Hitomi Tanaka (semi-NSFW) should shop at Sportsmaster.
Life is tough for a fashion model. They have to undergo makeup, corset tightenign and the rantings of lunatic fashionista directors. And so it would seem at some point enough is enough. And that's exactly what happens to three ladies in this John Camereon Mitchell-directed video for Agent Provocateur.
Of course, it wouldn't be an Agent Provocateur ad unless the three ladies stripped down to their lingerie, engaged in lesbian-esque intimate moments with one another and pranced about for us all to get a good look at their ridiculously hot bodies.
We've written about the European Wax Center before. And you've probably seen their ads on busses in and around New York City. They're easily recognizable since it's hard to miss gigantic ass cheeks protruding out from under the shortest short shorts you have likely ever seen.
Awkward dressing room moments. We've all had them. Well, all of you have. We never have. Except for that one time we walked in on a girl with boobs bigger than her head who was fruitlessly trying to stuff them into a bikini top. She just smiled and did the hand bra thing. We smiled too. For a very, very long time.
Wait, what? There was a man with dollar bills stuck all over him while driving a speedboat in this Geico commercial? Really? Seriously? All we saw were two super hot, delectably delicious and bodaciously boobylicious babes lounging on the bow of another boat. Someone also told us there's a voiceover. We didn't hear a thing.
Guess we should have our eyes (and ears) examined.
A new ad for Chinese smartphone company Oppo has released an ad touting the fact their new phone has a touch screen on the back as well as the front. To convey this point, the brand took the easy route and chose to make an analogy between the back of the phone and a lady's back.
So the result is an ad featuring a bare back accompanied with the headline, "Don't just touch the front, the back is also interesting." The ad is finished with "Rear Touch Panel. A brand new user experience.
Oh and that's not all. Reportedly, he brand has also rolled out an ad featuring a picture of toilet paper and the headline, "Easy to use with one hand so you can get busy with the other one..."