Damn! How's a guy expected to finish a marketing book when it's read to you by a woman sitting on a bed slowly removing her clothing? One would think the
publisher authors of this marketing book, Punk Marketing, would at least want you to finish the book before another sort of finish unexpectedly occurs. [Ed. OK, that's just gross! Who the hell wrote that?] This is the second disrobing hottie video the publishers authors have released to promote the book. In the first, the model, Cleo, disrobes on a plush rug in front of a fire. In the second, she's on a bed. In both cases, she's reading excerpts from the book. In both cases, we watched the video instead of picking up the book which has been on the desk in front of us for three weeks. OK. We admit. We've read some of it and we like it.
PETA continues its naked campaign with supermodel Joanna Krupa who appears "naked" in a new anti-fur "I'd Rather Go Naked Than Wear Fur" print campaign for the cause group. In a video, the Polish born model tells us she received a video from her sister that showed dogs being abused in China which motivated her to become part of the campaign. She tells us there's plenty of alternatives to fur although we hope most people, aside from supermodels, of course, don't choose to go naked.
It's our strong feeling that this ad (via Ichlache) is probably not real, but it vibes like the type of thing Durex would do (particularly outside these fine United States) and it gets the point across in a way that makes our own mouths hurt. The copy reading "Really Big..." at bottom left? Totally unnecessary.
Wistfully playing off the very, very, very...very old, but never tired, joke about sunglasses allowing one's eyes to secretly gaze towards distractingly enticing imagery undetected is a new Brazilian campaign for Polaroid Eyewear. With the proper Polaroid glasses, the guy in this campaign can enjoy the best of both worlds. The real one where he has to act as though his girlfriend is the only woman in the world for him or the fake world in which every piece of jiggling curvaceousness is his to freely explore and conquer in his fantasies. Some of us thank Polaroid for this bestowing this blessing. Others, not so much. See all three ads here. The campaign is the work of Santa Clara.
Public Relations professionals work hard to get their client's message out to the media. They send press releases. They make personal contact. They send gifts. They take you to lunch. They bribe...uh...no. The good ones don't go that far. So after a PR professional spends a day pitching their client's new ad campaign to the media and only one publication picks it up, a nudist resort blog, it is both depressing and very humorous. Why would a nudist-focused blog pick up an ad launch story? Simple. Because the ads feature nude models.
Yesterday, Bluefly launched a new ad campaign touting Bluefly's ability to eradicate that feeling of nakedness when not fashionably dressed. Or something like that. Thankfully, these nude models are far more attractive than your average nudist colony resident but that would be insensitive and uncaring to say so we're not going to.
Anyway, Bluefly President and CEO Melissa Payner tells us, "This campaign is not about nudity - it's about feeling naked, which is very different. These days more than ever, what you wear is inextricably linked to who you are. Without the 'right' clothes we experience an identity crisis. So our tagline 'That's Why I Bluefly' is the perfect antidote for this condition." OK. See the second ad here.
Valentine's Day approaches and with that, a frenzy to work out how best to show partners you love them. But love is abstract and ridden with dangerous cliches. How many longtime wives still appreciate the stock flowers and chocolates gesture? Lust, however, is flattering, easy to define and easier still to buy for.
Swedish company Lelo takes the traditionally cheesy sex toy and turns it into something to covet with sleek designs, subtle sizes and sweet little nicknames for its models like Lelo, Nea and Lily. It's a little like the iPod of vibrating gadgets. And for Valentine's day Lelo expands its narrow product line to include a limited-edition pleasure toy just for the season.
Lelo Valentine is a soft black ergonomically sound toy that comes in hot pink packaging and has "love" scrawled prettily right at the pleasure point. Created by Jesper Kouthoofd, it'll only set you back $129.
This year you can demonstrate your love - via lust - in no less than 16 speeds. And you can do it without looking like a prick clutching yet another prick in a giftwrapped box. With their fancy handiwork, high-brow price tags and low-key marketing, the Swedish are quite possibly the best thing to ever happen to the sex toy industry. And we're happy they've filled the niche, considering the Swiss have already taken cheese, chocolate and watches.
Living up to the (mostly false) accusation that all we (OK, me) write about are curvaceous women promoting stuff, we offer you this video which promotes the book, The Muscly Jerk Guide: Workout & Nutrition Plans, that promises guys, "Now you can build a physique that drives beautiful women crazy & take control of your sex life in only 12 weeks!" Back in November a guy wrote the book and recently released the video, called Hot Girls Answer Every Guy's Question, which asks what woman want in a guy. Of course, all they want are big muscles but what else would they say in a video promoting a book that promises to build a muscular physique in 12 weeks? The video has climbed to the number nine spot on the video tracking site, VidMeter. Call it shallow but there's nothing wrong with a six pack and the adoration that six pack brings.
We are told these are bed ads from a Brazilian bedmaker. The images carry no logo and our source does not know who the brand is. But, they are too good to share and done in a way only Brazilians can do. Enjoy them all here.
Every year we have to endure the painful submit, reject, submit, reject saga GoDaddy forces us to live through as it tries to get the network to accept its commercial for the Super Bowl. No one's in the dark here. Everyone knows Go Daddy CEO Bob Parsons is submitting ads he knows will be rejected simply to get the press that rejection generates. And, dammit, he has us doing it too with his latest reject, a Basic Instinct-style spot in which Candice Michelle does the Sharon Stone leg cross thing while some dude voiced by Philip Baker Hall. Oh the pain Parsons puts us through. Oh wait. Candice is kind of interesting to watch.
Here's a Russian vodka commercial that releases all that pent up, iron curtain crap the country had to endure for so long. Like a 16 year old kid returning from a week spent on vacation with the family to the privacy of his own room to urgently release thats week's "build up," Russian marketers are undergoing a release of their own. In this commercial for Kreslova vodka, a lonely Russian man's imagination drifts to the pleasures of beautiful woman clad in nothing more than tiny thongs and cleavage-enhancing lingerie. And it's all the vodka's fault. Damn. Where can we get some of that imagination-enhancing vodka here in the states?