Valentine's Day approaches and with that, a frenzy to work out how best to show partners you love them. But love is abstract and ridden with dangerous cliches. How many longtime wives still appreciate the stock flowers and chocolates gesture? Lust, however, is flattering, easy to define and easier still to buy for.
Swedish company Lelo takes the traditionally cheesy sex toy and turns it into something to covet with sleek designs, subtle sizes and sweet little nicknames for its models like Lelo, Nea and Lily. It's a little like the iPod of vibrating gadgets. And for Valentine's day Lelo expands its narrow product line to include a limited-edition pleasure toy just for the season.
Lelo Valentine is a soft black ergonomically sound toy that comes in hot pink packaging and has "love" scrawled prettily right at the pleasure point. Created by Jesper Kouthoofd, it'll only set you back $129.
This year you can demonstrate your love - via lust - in no less than 16 speeds. And you can do it without looking like a prick clutching yet another prick in a giftwrapped box. With their fancy handiwork, high-brow price tags and low-key marketing, the Swedish are quite possibly the best thing to ever happen to the sex toy industry. And we're happy they've filled the niche, considering the Swiss have already taken cheese, chocolate and watches.
Living up to the (mostly false) accusation that all we (OK, me) write about are curvaceous women promoting stuff, we offer you this video which promotes the book, The Muscly Jerk Guide: Workout & Nutrition Plans, that promises guys, "Now you can build a physique that drives beautiful women crazy & take control of your sex life in only 12 weeks!" Back in November a guy wrote the book and recently released the video, called Hot Girls Answer Every Guy's Question, which asks what woman want in a guy. Of course, all they want are big muscles but what else would they say in a video promoting a book that promises to build a muscular physique in 12 weeks? The video has climbed to the number nine spot on the video tracking site, VidMeter. Call it shallow but there's nothing wrong with a six pack and the adoration that six pack brings.
We are told these are bed ads from a Brazilian bedmaker. The images carry no logo and our source does not know who the brand is. But, they are too good to share and done in a way only Brazilians can do. Enjoy them all here.
Every year we have to endure the painful submit, reject, submit, reject saga GoDaddy forces us to live through as it tries to get the network to accept its commercial for the Super Bowl. No one's in the dark here. Everyone knows Go Daddy CEO Bob Parsons is submitting ads he knows will be rejected simply to get the press that rejection generates. And, dammit, he has us doing it too with his latest reject, a Basic Instinct-style spot in which Candice Michelle does the Sharon Stone leg cross thing while some dude voiced by Philip Baker Hall. Oh the pain Parsons puts us through. Oh wait. Candice is kind of interesting to watch.
Here's a Russian vodka commercial that releases all that pent up, iron curtain crap the country had to endure for so long. Like a 16 year old kid returning from a week spent on vacation with the family to the privacy of his own room to urgently release thats week's "build up," Russian marketers are undergoing a release of their own. In this commercial for Kreslova vodka, a lonely Russian man's imagination drifts to the pleasures of beautiful woman clad in nothing more than tiny thongs and cleavage-enhancing lingerie. And it's all the vodka's fault. Damn. Where can we get some of that imagination-enhancing vodka here in the states?
If sex sells for humans, why can't it sell for animals as well? Well, it does, (sort of, considering it's the humans who are the ultimate buyers here for their pets) for the Kentucky Humane Society which launched a campaign to promote a new spaying and neutering clinic. The billboards and bus shelter posters, created by Creative Alliance, feature humorous copy such as "You're going to cut off my what?", "Safe Sex? That just means she's been declawed", "Because I simply refuse to wear a condom" and "Cause humping your leg doesn't do it for me anymore." You can view all the creative here.
Since we are often accused of featuring items on Adrants purely for their prurient, female-focused nature, we thought we'd tip the scales a bit and bring you some pruriently male-focused news. Undergear, an online retailer has been given a website makeover by NetPlus Marketing to offer a "cleaner, bolder, fashion-forward look and feel." We're also told the "enhanced site boasts a modern, sophisticated look and feel, as well as updated navigation and shopping tools to make the online shopping experience easy and enjoyable." Screw that. Check out those abs, people!
We're not really sure why, and we wish it weren't that nauseating colour, but French artist Philippe Meste wants to create the biggest boxful of sperm ever.
The Spermcube seeks a fill of no less than one ton of human sperm, so if you can't get your 15 megabytes of fame then at least your little soldiers can when you make a donation. For those financially inclined and less biologically so, Meste also provides the option of becoming a shareholder via PayPal.
No words in English to describe our feelings about this one, so we'll shoot for the French: c'est degoulasse. Is it wrong for us to wonder about the smell?
BLM Flint Creative Director Guy Blaskey took on the Apprentice/Donnie Deutsch role in the UK's Wag Boutique, an ITV1 reality series that pits two teams of UK football player's wives and girlfriends against each other in a clothing shop competition. Each of the teams hired BLM Flint to create their identity and promotional campaigns and Blaske found himself in the middle of a nightmare.
At first, the nightmare wasn't so bad with soccer wife and Page Three model Nicola T offering to bare her breasts for creative inspiration and soccer wife Krystelle Sidwell giving him the full on flirting treatment. Unfortunately, the fun devolved into the usual idiocy with the two teams taking on the role of nightmare clients.
Blaskey said of the experience, "I was initially surprised how switched on, determined and knowledgeable the girls were, but it soon descended into farce. The Bows team were the perfect clients, apart from Nicola wanting to show me her breast. But working with the 'Better Half' team was a living hell, they were worse than the worst clients."
We know Microsoft wants us all to think its new Zune MP3 player is the MP3's answer to social networking what with its questionably easy method of song sharing and such . What we didn't know was just how social the staid monolith would get in order to convey its apparently very friendly social skills. Look at this banner ad for Zune found on Metacritic and ask yourself exactly what this particular sort of social activity has do to with song sharing. And before all you conservative types jump out of your seat and scream "Adrants goes for cheap salaciousness again!", ask yourself why Microsoft or the art director behind this creation cold not have chosen from 3 million other shots of a woman making love to a microphone before choosing this image which alludes to an entirely different kind of love making. Click the image to increase the size of the love making.