From the look of these new Gossip Girl promotional posters, you'd think all they do on the show is have sex. Oddly (or not), that's not the case. The show is entertaining, witty and juicy. And who doesn't like to watch pretty people prance around the screen and whine about their difficult lives...even if they all come from multi-millionaire households? Besides, sex sells so the more we can show Blake Lively and Leighton Meester get it on with their boy toys, the better.
September 1, people.
It's really too bad this Danish Cancer Society commercial has such a ridiculously lame ending because, well, until that lame ending, it's really quite excitingly uplifting to watch.
So in reaction to that stupid move Boing Boing pulled deleting content published on the site by Violet Blue, Playboy thought they'd cash in on the media frenzy by hosting a hottest blogger contest including, of course, Violet Blue herself and Boing Boing's Xeni Jardin among others.
Ariel Waldman, who, herself, was nominated a list of the Top 20 Bloggers We Want To See In Bikinis, points us to the contest in which Sometimes Daily hottie Amanda Congdon battles it out with Tekzilla cutie Veronica Belmont, dirty joke lover Julie Alexandria, video blogging cutie Brigitte Dale, Pop17 babe Sarah Austin, CNET Loaded's beauty Natali Del Conte and...Holy Mad Men boobs!...Business Week's Sarah Lacy of the famed SXSW interview debacle with Facebook's Mark Zuckerberg.
Yes, people, In our world, this is what matters. The hotness quotient. The hotter you are, the more likely you are to succeed in life. OK, so maybe that;s not entirely true but what fun would a list of the top ten bloggers ranked by the number of hard-to-spell, SAT-like words be?
OK so Trojan has what's probably the world's smallest vibrator; good for sneaking into the conference room to alleviate boredom during some douchebag's elongated presentation. But sometimes, small isn't always good. Sometimes size does matter and you just really, really WANT a big ass vibrator to shove up your...oops, sorry. We're supposed to be talking about advertising here.
Oh yes, we've written about porn and advertising many, many time before. Just do a search for "porn" and you'll see for yourself. Well, here's another to add to the list. Adrants reader Alisa tipped us to the Blank is Like Blank site on which ten "advertising is like porn" statements were made.
This was published here a little over a year ago and in the interest of reviewing the predictions made in the article, we're reprinting it. All the predictions haven't come true but we are certainly on our way.
What? Wait a minute. This just isn't right. Have we finally realized women aren't the only objects that can be used to sell beer? Is it possible a hot guy could attract as much attention as a hot girl? Just what is going on here? Are we observing a new trend of sorts? What, pray tell, are all the leering, slobbering, Budweiser drinkers going to do now that they may be subjected to the trite objectification of men instead of the beer babeliciousness they have come to expect from most brewers' advertising?
We are stunned. Stunned! Have we reached a culturally significant watershed moment here? This just boggles the mind. This turns things upside down. Are the Coors Twins out of a job? What about the Miller Lite Cat Fight babes? The St. Pauli Girl? The Rolling Rock Beer Ape Babes? The Milwaukee's Best Automotive Girl? The Foster's Beer Boob? The Bavaria Beer grocery store stripper? Beer.com's Virtual Bartenders? The Troegs Beer burping and farting babe? The Labatt's Blue lesbians?
To promote the Secret touchscreen and 5-mp camera phone, LG puts it in the hands of a stalker who uses it to "interact" with a sleeping woman in another apartment. Wait for the part where he sighs, and the phone shakes, and the covers come off!
Engadget's take: "early-90s softcore voodoo porn." But it gets better. No promo porn is complete without the cheap comedic ending that makes everything feel safely commercial again. Well, unless you're P. Diddy.
So you're talking a nice drive into the city with your grandparents (or parents, or kids...choose appropriate scenario) to show them where you work and hang out or maybe to go to the park or even to Ground Zero for a visit. As you drive along, you look to your left and...OMG...ASS! A giant, arched ass is staring you in the face and it's all you can do to hope no one else in the car is seeing what you're seeing. Though the size of the ass and the mobile billboard truck its mounted on is far, far too big to go unnoticed. (Yes, I know the picture has palm trees in it and is probably LA but just go with it.)
Oh look! Trojan really does care how women feel during sex. Oh sure, they make all kinds of ribbed condoms and stuff but if a lady's man can't last long enough for all that ribbed goodness to do its thing, it's all kind of pointless. Enter Trojan Vibrating Touch, a battery-powered finger widget that delivers...um...personalized pleasure and is pretty much guaranteed to last as long as it takes...unlike the aforementioned male-powered method of stimulation.
So it's Friday which means thoughts begin to turn away from work to some of the more pleasurably social aspects of life like...oh...watching a hot girl in a blue bikini fight with her bush until she's able to tame it with Bikini Zone. Yes, it's sunny. It's time to go to the beach so that means it's time to get looking good down there.
Helping in that area is Studio 8 which just created a parody-style Japanese commercial for the product line which takes us through various battles the girl wages against her untamed mane.
Hmm. Suddenly, I have an urge to go to the beach.